My first journal entry on this site..
Haha, I never believed I would start writing a journal again. But merh haha. Writing this online feels a bit better, cuz i know that i’m not alone, and some kind people would hopefully see my journal and help me, as i hate asking for help or advice irl. But yeah… So today has been okay. I still feel nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All the things i use to love don’t please me or make me happy anymore. I could lay in bed all day doing nothing and not care. Maybe i’m unconsiously waiting for the inevitable day of death. I don’t want to die, im scared tbh. Nobody knows what happens after death and it makes me kinda sadand scared. I thought of that while watching my show today haha. Idk. Just stuff. And i got in a fight with my significant other yesterday. I got angry and pushed him away. I hate when i do that, i dunno… Its just a bad habit i do alot. Like… i want help, but i dont want to ask for it. I don’t want people to think im attention seeking or anything. Or they’ll spread rumors about me. its hard keeping it inside all the time, but i dont want to tell anybody about it, yaknow? its complicated… Well… That’s all for right now. I’ll try to write in you, whenever i can, journal. Its a good way to release my feelings.