Everyday’s the same where I wake up but don’t want to get out of bed. Where I don’t even want to move. As soon as I awaken, my thoughts are active and they scream and scream.
Nearly 4 years ago I wasn’t as bad as I am now. I never used to hate every inch of myself and everything I had done and did. 4 years ago I just had sad thoughts. Now?
Now I skip meals. Cry every night. Look in the mirror for hours and try to believe i’m beautiful. Write suicide notes. Try killing myself. Strangle myself. Cut myself. Cry in the shower. Have panic and anxiety attacks when the voices and things get too much. Wish to be happy.
People keep telling me everything will be okay.
It never will.
Each day that passes, I get worse.
I get so bad that I start to feel sick and feel like I can’t breathe. And I want to tear apart my skin.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up.