Never depend on others, they’ll always let you down

2015

I will never forget this year. It was the best year of my life. First time in my life where work, love and family came together. I was working at the same place for the past 2 years. I was living at an okay place. I actually got along with my sister. Life was good. But I had this nagging feeling that life was about to change. You see, things never stayed that perfect for me. Well, hell broke lose when I told my mom I got engaged. She started getting worked up over me leaving the house and would start arguments with me all the time. I could be in my room and she would walk in to start an argument. But life was still bearable. I was working and hanging out with friends so can’t really complain. I dropped everything whenever my family, friends or love needed help.

2016

This has been a year from heck. Dad decided to take a walk outside without his walker and ended up in the ER with perm limited mobility. He knew he needed a walker to go outside the house because his legs needed extra support. We ended up moving to another place without stairs, a place without a washer/dryer in the unit and whenever we needed to do laundry, we had to go exchange coins at the management office.

I started looking for another place to live since I work long hours and it’s really hard to coordinate laundry time with management office hours. I thought love and I was going to move in together. Guess my assumption was wrong. Once again, I have to wait to get things done on someone else’s timeline.

I’m really considering to just move in with roomies versus with him. At least with roomies, I have more options. I can start moving by end of next month if I wanted to rather than to wait and look for something within our budget (mine and his).

Life was good when I put myself first, focusing on my job and goals. The moment I let my guard down, I get disappointed. I have never been this sad since my middle school years when the bully happened. Thinking back, it was actually better in middle school than now. With middle school, at least the bullying stopped when I was home. Whereas with this year, I can’t get away from it for long. Never again will I be putting others ahead of myself. Have to take care of me before I can take care of anyone else.

 

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