2 weeks of normal

I haven’t written in a little over 2 weeks.  I had energy, the urge to be around friends and family and a sense of happiness for those 2 weeks.  But today, mid morning, I suddenly felt angry and very depressed.  I feel like I need a new job and that I’m not happy anymore and deserve better.  It came on so suddenly and was triggered by nothing at all that I can pinpoint.

It occurs to me that I could write when I am having good days too but I tend to only reach out to write when I am in a bad place in my mind.

I want to run away and apply for jobs far away today.  I want to hide in my house.  I ate bad yesterday and this morning, maybe that triggered it.  I know when I am losing weight I feel happier, like I’m doing something positive for myself (even if it’s just me not eating at all).

I have a general sense of exhaustion, my body feels tired, I feel mentally and emotionally drained.  I left work early, I couldn’t stand to be around anyone and felt angry and short-fused.  I wish I wasn’t this way, I wish my mood was associated with actual events and not seemingly random and uncontrollable.  This makes me feel crazy.  No wonder I have nobody to share my life with, I’ll sink them too.

2 thoughts on “2 weeks of normal”

  1. I think everyone has ups and downs, sometimes with no trigger. Try to relax and wait through the day and have a better day tomorrow. If you can exercise, that will get endorphins going and make you feel better ANY day. I say that, but I also know the last thing you feel like doing is exercising, right? God bless you.

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