Day 6 – Summarizing my Week

Dear Ms. Cöt,

I survived the week without sending you any message that I really wanted to video call with you. So yey! Congrats to me! Hahaha!

Well, this week is not as good as I wanted this week to be, because I was distracted and most of it, I kept thinking about you. So I’m hoping that next week, it won’t be like that anymore. I really want to be able to work without feeling sad because I miss you this much, and you seem to not be missing me at all. But, I’m used to it, I guess you can’t change that part of you unless you feel like you have to.

I was so tempted to stalk you in social media, but the best that I can do is review the posts in my home wall. I saw several of your posts, and you’re doing it again. Imitating, stalking, and creating arts for the artist that you “love” and the character they played that you can so relate. I don’t get it, I’m here and I love you and I need real attention, and there you are, obsessing on other people who don’t know you or see you. We’ve talked about it several times and you seem to not get it.

I’m here, but you’re not looking at me. I guess I have to live with that. If I am my past self, I would have given the same amount of attention I’m getting. A love that reciprocates. A love that is very conditional, if the conditions aren’t met, I don’t wanna bother loving you anymore. But, I’m not that person anymore. It’s weird that I learned that because of our relationship, but now that we’re close, you do that. *Sigh*

It was funny how you weren’t able to read the situation even though I was openly telling you what’s happening to me. I had to tell you to stop calling me “love” when it hit you that I don’t like what’s happening. Oh well, there’s really no point to it now, we can’t be in that kind of relationship nor be together like that. We both want to have our own family and we’re clearly being slaves to our desires. So I’m really glad that God, despite our stupidity, didn’t abandon us.

Anyway, I’ll get to finally video call with you soon! Can’t wait. I hope our conversation will go well. Sleep tight my sleepyhead.


Red Panda

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