The father I never knew

Tomorrow is Father’s Day. I lost my father back in the early fall he had a heart attack. Honestly though I lost him years ago when he left my life when I was 5. I always wanted a relationship with my dad like any normal girl. He loved me but in his own way as he didn’t know how to anyone really cuz he was never by his father. As I got older my father remarried twice. His 3rd wife had children all around my age. She even had a daughter who was my age. My dad brought me around them to try and see how things would go. Me and her did bond and clicked very well until she discovered boys. She was the girl all the boys wanted the perfect body as we would say. Flat stomach, the right size boobs, and she just had perfect skin. My dad gave her more attention and we grew apart more and more as I got older. It was like she became his daughter. When she moved out he grew closer to his wife’s son who was special needs. So again I’m left out not knowing my dad and not having a good relationship with him. I do wish I had a better relationship with him. In so many ways I’m just like him, so yea it would have been nice to get to know him and see how much we really had in common and how much we was truly alike. I’ve tried to reach out to wife and her daughter to see about things about him but they will never answer. I know I’ll never get the answers that I’m looking for. I know I’ll never know him like I should. All I will know about him is what I knew. My memories and things people from the family had told me. It hurts to know I was daddy’s little bit ended up not being that as I got older. 

One thought on “The father I never knew”

  1. You have my sympathy, dear girl. I lost my dad at 4 and didn’t see him again until I was married, he came on a visit (not to the wedding.) It was a bitter divorce and I wasn’t even allowed to ask about him. As we got to know each other in adulthood, it wasn’t so good. You can never be a child again and capture those moments. I hope you will do what I did, turn to God the Heavenly Father. He will never leave you or forsake you. He truly loves you, exactly as you are. Talk to Him. Give Him a chance.
    Best of luck. And blessings.

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