Into the light – Upswing

Things have been, dare I say it, pretty good.  My finances are always a mess but besides that things are pretty good. I have been hanging out with and talking to friends more (making up for lost time due to severe depression and isolation).  Been able to get out and walk, working out at home (minimal but it’s something and a start!) and went hiking yesterday.  All of these things remind me of what is important and how I need to make time for each and every activity that brings me out of my house and makes me smile.

Just finished working on a bit more of my bipolar workbook and I feel proud of myself.  I was able to list positive traits about myself and separate myself from my disorder, I feel like I’m really on the right track.  I know who I am and when I’m positive like this it is the REAL me, not a disordered me.  I can take credit and be happy with my personality and it’s OK.

I’ve been eating less, I do wish I had more money to buy healthier food though. My finances are a downer for me.  I do feel I’ll be behind forever or even keep digging my debt deeper but I’m not going to let it dictate my whole life.

I’ll try to write in here more, even when I’m in a good mood.  I tend to write when I’m in a horrible place, while I’m glad I do I should make time to be grateful for my good days, because there are a decent amount of them and I should acknowledge that.

I’m grateful for understanding friends and family.  I’m grateful for a roof over my head and a car that gets me from A to B.  I’m grateful for coworkers who are decent and caring.  I’m grateful I have a job (not the best paying but hey, better than it COULD be).  I’m grateful for this online journal and for social media because it connects me to good people who are genuine, makes me feel normal and accepted even when I don’t feel normal or acceptable.  I’m also thankful for the dark times I’ve had, they’ve helped me understand the light more and I think I have more depth due to going through those dark, dark cycles of depression.

3 thoughts on “Into the light – Upswing”

  1. Even though I don’t know you I too feel proud of you. Little steps man seriously do matter. And ooh look at you already starting. Go ahead and do your thing and now I feel a little inspired 🙂

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