It seems that a whole nest of sand-colored jumping spiders has hatched in my room.

My desk and the chair I pile books on, and my chair, have been sprouting itsy spiders all morning. I’ll be writing something, and this teeny little guy will just leap out. And then I’ll squish him. Which sounds kind of cruel, but seriously, there are just SO MANY of them, and I really don’t feel like sharing my space with a whole cluster of arachnids. So.

They’re not really scary, because they’re really really small and they’re all pale, and they make the most pathetic leaps up and down the pens scattered on the desk, and if they were anywhere else, I probably would find them cute. But I can’t help feeling kind of shivery when I realize that they’ll grow up into those brown spiders with the black stripes on their backs, that go all over the place and seem to have an obsession with climbing into my sheets. This huge flat spider with legs like a freaking crab used to chill on my ceiling, and I kind of got used to him because he never came down (at first, though, I was terrified he would parachute onto my bed at night, and I tried to murder him with the vacuum cleaner), but those jumping spiders are always in the worst places, places I actually have to touch in everyday life–like my books, my pens, or my clothes.


Our plane tickets have been bought. We’re going to Hong Kong’s airport, the same airport we sent my sister off in 2011. I’m kind of excited? I guess? But mostly not. I’m mostly lowkey freaking out. I still feel like time is passing WAY too fast, because it seems like just yesterday it was January and I was stressing out about my finals with my classmates–and now it’s the 20th of June and it’s High School Entrance Examination Day, and my classmates are getting ready for the finals of their second term of school.


The other day I watched the first bit of Eraserhead. It was bizarre. It was really creepy and unsettling, not just because of the black-and-white photography, the initial lack of dialogue, or the abandoned industrial setting, but because of the shrill, or harsh, constant background noises that sounded like ambient music. It gave me a headache just listening to it. The film is supposed to be a classic, which is why I tried watching it in the first place, but honestly, sometimes I suspect that movies only become “classics” when they portray disturbing subject matter in really cryptic, or really unflinchingly “realistic”, ways. I felt the same kind of disturbed when I watched A Clockwork Orange, which was even worse than Eraserhead, because it was really violent and traumatising.

Other than that, I’ve just been procrastinating and wondering how I can kickstart my urge to learn before I’m in Texas and struggling in school. Because seriously, AP classes and volunteer work and SATs and scholarship applications and high school drama are all heading my way, and I’m SURE that sitting and not doing anything now is going to come back and bite me in the ass later on, as karma does.


I did try to write an entry the other day but the site spazzed out and it got lost, so oh well.


Have a good Monday wherever you are, and stay safe.

One thought on “Spiders”

  1. Why did I read the spider part? I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew I’m an arachnophobe, yet I still read and now I have to do another check of my room for spiders. ;-;

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