2016 - 1

On.My.Own;

This was the first thing I crossed of my list on my birthday! Till then I never traveled any where on my own. Every time I went some where, my mum or my dad or some grown up was always there. When I was younger it was fine cause I needed some one old to guide me but as I grew up, all my friends started going places on their own. Every time we’d meet at some mall I’d show up in a car with my mum or dad. Of course I got teased around for it but I didn’t really mind. I always thought I’d learn with time. And before I knew it I was in 10th Grade. I really wanted to go alone but it scared me so much. There was this time when my class planned that we’d go to a mall right after school; it was sudden and I never got to tell my parents about it.

I don’t even know how they talked me into it. The next thing I knew I was in the bus! Crowded with people. I ended up in the last seat sitting on one of my friends! Oh and I might have cried..a lot. Before you go all judgemental on my ass you need to understand that it was my first time leaving school like that, I wasn’t prepared and my parents didn’t even know!! I was sooo sure that they were going to kill me! I ended up crossing two roads! Wide wide roads and got in another bus! Crowded again. (I hate crowds!) And once we reached the mall I called up my parents. My mum freaked, nothing I said made sense cause I was sobbing. My friends talked to her. After I kinda calmed down I talked to them again and they were cool about it!!! The rest of the day was awesome though. I went home with my friends. No parents!! They dropped me home. And 2 year from then, I still get teased about it! (No surprise there.)

Now back to 2016! It was around 11:30AM and according to my ‘plan’ I was supposed to leave home around 10AM. I just sat on the couch thinking about all the worst things that could happen the second I stepped out! I finally gathered up the courage to get up, lock the door and get to the bus stop. And I just sit there and watch the buses go by. It really was the most terrifying thing I had to do!!! I plugged in some songs and went to the nearest mall. I walk in with my heart going sooo fast I was sure it’ll stop soon! I got myself a drink and the whole while I walked there I thought about so much crap! “What do I do with my arms when I walk?” “Am I walking too fast or too slow?” “Where do I look?” “Should I smile at people?” Oh I hated it!! I kept thinking it was a mistake and I had to get home. But once I started going to different stores I started having fun! I like it. I actually liked being on my own. I spent more than 8 hours out there on my own!! I didn’t get home until it got dark!! I couldn’t believe it. My parents didn’t even how what I did or where I was. Still don’t.

I hated it at first. But at the end of the day I didn’t give a flying fuck about how I walked. I did something I thought I couldn’t and maybe this year I would actually grow up. It is my best birthday ever. My first day alone. A great start to this year. 

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