June 22nd

It’s been nearly five whole days since I’ve updated.  In all honesty, my life isn’t very busy, but because I’m so fragile all the time, I feel like I’ve been swept up in a whirlwind.  Everything in my life seems non-stop.  I feel like I haven’t even had time to catch my breath.  But I’m sure from the outside, it looks like I just sleep a lot and panic a lot.

Saturday, I went out to my family’s and had another grill out.  Pineapple salsa chicken, burgers, the works.  After which, we drove down to a park with a huge creek running straight through it.  The water runs so clean and fast, you can drink it straight.  My fiance had never been, so it was a pretty nice experience.  It was a nice, warm night.  The sun didn’t set until 9:30.  We were out until past 10:00.  The smell of honeysuckle wafted through the air like a thick, intoxicating perfume.  The cool waters running over my feet and legs as I slowly dipped myself in past my waist felt great.  Not so cold to make you shiver, but just cold enough to give you goosebumps and dry up the sweat on the back of your neck.  It’s absolute paradise, and another reason why I must move back closer to home.

I also gave my dad his Father’s Day gift.  It was a set of little hand dipped cakes.  One was Mt. Dew flavored, another was Orange Crush flavored, and the third was banana pudding with a little vanilla wafer on top.  There were so many left over that everyone got some.  It was a huge success overall, minus the part where everybody moved as slow as molasses.  I’m not sure what it is about summer, but it makes people move so gosh darn slow.  It took everyone more than an hour just to put shorts on and get in the car to go to the creek, and I swear, it was making me pull my hair out.

Since then, I’ve been home, planning the next big summer event.  My family and I had intended on spending this weekend in a cabin at the same creek, but with my sister’s health so fragile and her surgery so near, we decided to postpone it until a later date.  I don’t know what I’ll do with myself now.  We did manage to get both Friday and Saturday off, and we did just get paid.  We had enough overtime to afford doing something nice together.  We’ll see.

On the other side, in the last week, I’ve had two different people tell me that I was their moral compass, their standard for a good person.  Honestly, it made me feel so good to hear it.  I could have cried.  I must be doing something right in this world if people think so highly of me.  I’m not sure what it is I’m doing, but I’m going to keep trying for better.  I must be even better to honor their kind words.   

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