Empty

 

Empty.

It’s what I felt most of the time. Just empty.

I would stare up at the ceiling every night with a lot of things on my mind.

Like why I cant be good enough for the world.

Why am I like this?

I hate being myself but I gave up trying to recover awhile ago.

I can hardly last a day without cutting.

I’ve drifted from my friends.

I lock myself away in my room scared to face my family.

I cry every night.

I can’t stand myself.

I want to swallow a bunch of pills and feel even more numb and empty. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

I want to down shots of vodka just for my throat to burn.

I want to be in so much pain that I don’t feel it.

 

2 thoughts on “Empty”

  1. Hey, you’re being hard on yourself. Life is difficult though, I get it. I’ve been in the trap that you’re going through, things can improve though if you let them. Try to feel better…that entails not hurting yourself or feeling like you deserve to be punished. People care about you despite what you may think, try to keep that in mind. I’m sorry you’re going through rough times.

  2. Maybe your not empty at all, you have friends and family that care and love you, i may not know your story and why you felt those such things but life is beautiful even if it’s hard… we stumbled but we need to get up… the most cured to that feeling is loving your own self… stop being hard to yourself try to see the good side even if it’s hard… and smile cos you’re beautiful no matter what.

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