Yeah…. didn’t do my daily journal thing cuz this week was complete shit. I’m in a shitty mood as well too rn. I wanna cry… I’m angry. Maybe i’m misunderstanding something, but i don’t give a shit, man. I can’t take it. You can’t trust anyone these days, nomatter who they are. Now i know i can’t trust anybody. Theres different types of trust: The trust where you can trust someone with anything, even with your life; the trust where you have half trust, but you wouldn’t trust them with secrets or specific topics; then theres just the trust where you say you trust them when you definetly dont. The first type of trust i have with an extremely small circle, only like two or three people. The rest of the people are in the other two, but mostly the last one. I feel like i can’t trust anyone. I open myself up, and  get hurt. I can never fully open up to anyone anymore, TBH, i only have one person i can talk to about anything, but i don’t because i don’t want to bother him with my issues… but i know i can trust him with anything. He understands me. But back to this week, its been really cruddy. I’ve been thinking alot and have been stressing over my summer school class. I’m worried im not going to pass it, so that means these three weeks were for nothing, and i really need to pass. Atleast with a C. And just thoughts about my past have been coming up too, like how things would have been if i did that one thing different. How much of a different person id be if  i didn’t do certain things or date certain people. *Sigh* i feel karma is after me or something… things i made fun of or did to other people(whether it be on purpose or accidentally) happened to me. Or just history repeating itself. Like in the eighth grade, there was this boy who really liked me, but i didn’t like him. He asked me out, and i said yeah because i thought if i gave him a chance maybe i’d like him. I didn’t and broke up with him a week later i think. After that, he was an asshole to me and tried to get back with me a few times. but thats besides the point lol. And sophmore year, i really liked this guy, but he didn’t like me, and he broke up with me after about a week. And a few months ago, he tries fucking around with me again. tch. But that’s just one example of how lifes coming to bite me in the ass. But either way, how did i get to that…..? Huh :/ Welp merh… Either way. this week has been cruddy, and i lost my trust in this one person. I just cant, man. I kinda knew everything was too good to be true.Everything’s just going downhill.. Life… I feel like im being used too, i dont know, i really don’t see any benefits for them but merh,  thats life. 


Kayden/Kayla :(:

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