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Me-cation.

Hello loves. I am in a fabulous mood today. Why you may ask? I’m relaxed and don’t have an ounce of stress on me for the first time in years probably. If you read my first entry you know a great deal about my living situation. Well, I love my family soooo much, but I’ve realized today that living with them causes 75% of my stress and anxiety. They left this morning for the beach and I stayed behind. I haven’t felt my toes in the cool sand while standing in awe in front of the ocean in three years and would have LOVED to seen the ocean again, but sometimes you have to make a choice between what you want and what’s best for you. Normally, I go straight for what I want..which can often be rewarding in a swirly butterfly type of way, but sometimes having that personality type can hurt myself more than it helps. Every parent needs a break sometimes.  Let’s be honest, thats why summer camp is so popular. Sure, we want our children to participate in activities and learn useful skills while at the same time enjoying their summer, but the biggest draw is the break. Whether you admit it or not. The past 3 summers I have gotten that break….but this year the summer camp they attend is closed for repairs. Bummer. But, with this beach trip I not only get a break from the kids but my mom too. It’s not that I don’t love them all to pieces, they ARE MY LIFE…but…I need to feel like a woman again. Like an adult again. The feel of this liberating freedom is almost better than the cool sand between my toes. Besides a few weekend getaways, this is the first time I’ve really had to myself….especially being at the house alone…for this long. It’s just 5 days, but  if today is any indication of how the next 4 will be, I’ll be a ‘happy camper’. Today I’ve managed to sing and dance relentlessly around the house all day long, walk around in nothing but a tshirt, sleep late, giggle on the phone for hours to my girlfriends like a teenage girl, all while still going to my Dr.’s appointment and doing laundry. I’ve felt no pressure or guilt by my mom all the while walking on eggshells around her, I haven’t had to tell the kids over and over to “stop fighting” or “please don’t hula hoop and throw batons in the house” or “Please pick up your shoes, I’ve already told you 5 times” or argue about what I’m fixing them for dinner. A break from those little things that repeat themselves everyday has been exhilarating. Also, if I wanted to invite a date over for dinner and a little romance, I could do that without embarrassment or distractions. Usually my neck and shoulders are so stiff with tension that I had forgotten what they felt like at ease. Usually my heart is beating so wildly in my chest from all of the anxiety and frazzled nerves, that I’m constantly in a state of chaos. But today has been bliss. I anticipate the next 4 days being bliss.  I think a lot of women would feel too guilty to type any of this out, but it’s just a mother’s truth. I know that when they return home that I will greet them with hugs and kisses and my heart will feel happy to be reunited with them, but for now, I’m going to enjoy this late night summer storm with a cup of tea and a good book. – K 

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