Bad day at work yesterday.  Extreme fatigue kicked in and yes I finally sat down and cried.  I know people don’t understand but then how can they.  First of all when going through this you never have a good day.  How you tolerate is probably putting it a better way.  And sleep doesn’t cure the exhaustion.  It’s always there.  I got home ate 2 noodles of the sweet and sour macaroni salad I made and puked them up.  Had terrible dry heaves.  Didn’t eat, showered and bed.  Going again today.  Hope I tolerate things better.  I know people don’t mean it and I don’t mean it.  They just don’t or can’t understand.  I guess that is one purpose of this journal to try to make things clearer. A little medical wake up.  The chemo drugs go in and their job is to destroy cancer cells.  Yes we hope they are doing their job however at the same time they are destroying healthy cells.  Result – you NEVER feel good.   Hey to those of you concerned about losing your hair and no not all chemo does this.  I am handling it the way I am because I have reached a point in my life that I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks about me.  And I’m not so sure my reaction would be the same had this occurred at some other time in my life so if you are upset about your hair loss do whatever makes you comfortable and don’t listen to me or anyone else.  One last point when I say I’m doing good it is just so I don’t have to bore you with the details of how I really feel.   Also I want to post a website to purchase reasonably priced wigs for those of you facing this.  Give me a chance to find it. is the website.  Whatever you do DO NOT go to the expense of purchasing a real human hair wig.  As I have been told not only are they expensive but difficult to care for.  I purchased a wig through this company.  Cost $54 as I recall.  I never wore it.  Also bought scarves.  Never wore them.  I’m quite content with my ball hat though I understand I’m not everyone else.  I suppose if I had to go to a more formal affair such as a wedding I might have to break out the wig.  Don’t have that in my upcoming future that I am aware of at the moment.

One thought on “MY JOURNEY WITH THE big c”

  1. Oh my goodness! I don’t have empathy since I’ve not gone through cancer or chemo…but I do have sympathy. Geesh I would think your co-workers would feel bad for you…I do. Just showing up is more than most would do.
    I am assuming you need to work financially or at least need to keep this specific job for when you are well? Otherwise…I believe if it were me I would quit! But then I am so longing to retire so. And I have chronic ailments, none nearly as severe as you but I get it not feeling good day after day.
    Anyhow you cry when you must, you go to work when you must, you rest when you must. This is YOUR LIFE and this is your BATTLE for it! Only you can be in charge my sweet friend, do what you feel you should.
    Sending hope, hugs, love and prayers.

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