Where is the light? You know the one that they talk about at the end of the tunnel? Have I not walked far enough through this rabbit hole to see it yet? How much further do I have to go before this light appears? I don’t know if I can go on much further in the shit tunnel. It does not matter if I do everything perfect there will always be something that I did wrong, there will always be some reason I deserve to be put down and abused. It is like everything inside of me is being ripped apart. No longer do I have hopes for things between us. I now know that the only light I will ever have is to get out. I need out of this rabbit hole. My life has become this dark dank place filled with screaming and fear. As of now there is no light There is no way out.

     I am afraid. I am afraid of when I will be put down next. Afraid of the next time he loses his keys and blames it on me. Afraid of being called names and told I  am not good enough or not wanted. I used to think if I just tried hard enough it would make him happy but it wont and it never will. I don’t have friends or family anymore. I have no one but him. There is no way out.

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