Where do I begin?? I struggle with not wanting to live my life. I don’t know what happiness is. I sometimes just like to imagine what it would be like after death. Does are pain and suffering still exist? Or does it just disappear without a trace? I guess these questions will never be answered until i experience death myself. I just wish all my pain would leave. Its like I’m trapped in my own mind with no way out. Im surrounded by my own demons. Theres no way to escape it. I try to breath and close my eyes but all i feel is the weight on my chest. I can barely breath. I yell out but no one hears me. Do i even exist?