There are consequences to everything we do and say. A temptation. A pull. An urge. You know better. You know what’s wrong. You know what’s easy. You know what’s right and why is it always so difficult to choose? A tension exists within the temptation. Obsession on taking improper, impulsive action. That teeth gritting, hand wringing, foot tapping phase of temptation. The tension.
Who are you hurting? Are you clever enough? Is your plan flawed? Where are the gaps to fill and the holes to plug to indulge yourself without detection and minimize the backlash? Fill them. Plug them. You feel bigger now as confidence builds. It is ok. You’re not a bad person. You just have certain … things … you need to do. Once you do it, you’ll feel better. You’ll be fine. The tension will have dissipated.
Rationalizing that as long as no one is hurt, what does it matter? Do you remember that you might be hurting yourself? Karma will see. She always does. Her and her scoreboard – balancing the universe. Enslaved by Karma – it is love and hate all wrapped up into one juicy package. It is like the six-year old ripping into gifts. What if the prize does not meet his expectations and standards? On to the next one. It may or may not be equally disappointing. Wads of wrapping paper litter the scene memorializing the mania of temptation.
Do you give in? Do you remain strong and choose differently this time? Choosing differently can leave you hungry. That little hamster wheel of temptation still running in the brain. Breathe. What if you pull the trigger? What can happen? How much collateral damage is worth the satisfaction? What if you choose something different? Do you sit? Anxious. Unfulfilled. Still with temptation. How long can she wait with you? She seems to be patient and tenacious like Chinese water torture. Her virtues are stronger than yours.
What is temptation’s enemy? Her foil? Indifference? Confidence? Fortitude? Personal code and creed? We all go there. The stove is hot but you still have to touch it. Give in. Touch it again. Be reminded. Try again tomorrow.