Depression

Ever since i was fourteen years old I’ve struggled with depression. It was always there but it wasn’t as noticeable until my dog died. I know it sounds silly but my dog dyeing was the trigger to my journey with depression. I have had a lot of horrible things happen to me in my life. My biological mother abandoned me and so did my father. I then enter the foster care system where a women who was planning on adopting me left with a man with a criminal background who i was not suppose to be in contact with. I was molested multiple times in a short period of time. Ive been to therapy five times and it helps at first but then it stops. I go back to my old ways of cutting and having suicidal thoughts. During my darkest moments I think about how it would affect my family and friends if i did that to myself. Would they blame themselves? I guess you could say thats what stops me from going further. My family and friends are the light in my darkest moments. Especially my foster mom. She is my hero. One of the strongest women i know. I hope one day i become a women like her. She has taught me that many people out there are struggling with the very same thing and that I’m not alone. Thats partly why i decided to write and share publicly my journey and to let people know they are never alone. There are people in the world who do understand what your going through. Don’t be ashamed reach out to one another. And then we can all become each others heroes. 

3 thoughts on “Depression”

  1. Hey I’ve been depressed for a couple years now and I understand how you’re feeling. Nothing traumatic has happened to me to make me this way so I can’t really relate to you in that way. I’m guessing it’s hormonal/chemical but I’m too scared to go to a doctor to figure it out. Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m here to talk if you ever need to. This world is confusing and horrible and you’re right, we need to support each other.

  2. Both of you are stronger than you realize, just by writing and reaching out to other resources you’re taking care of yourself! I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I have suffered from some mental health issues too but I’ve spent years working on it. I can’t even remember the last time I had a panic attack or how it feels. I will always notice the triggers though… but it’s different. i can watch them roll by without affecting me now, instead of reacting. I finally found a therapist that I see weekly and have meds for back up.
    I hope so intensely for the best things in your life, because yes the world needs more support and you are worth that support too. Please don’t stop trying!! Stories like yours have inspired me to become an art therapist for foster youth and CPS. Do not give up.

  3. ive been molested, ive also attempted suicide failed obviously. i know how you feel. lifes been hard its been a year since my attempt and honestly i never saw my life like this. everythings good life does pick up all you have to do is wait.

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