i regret it, i regret it so much such a silly mistake that cost me my relationship my beautiful ‘different’ mature relationship. with the man i could see myself with forever,its so hard. i was in the wrong and part of me wants to take all of the blame? i mean it must be my fault he hit me? my fault i wasnt good enough. i was too fat, too ugly too morngy and far too phsyco. payback is never a good idea. but despite my silly mistake and childish ways i sometimes fail to see that he was the one in the wrong. no one should ever make anyone feel how he treat me, the constant diggs, the constant hits but by far the emotional abuse was the worse. i want to take the blame, i want to take all the blame but my mind knows this wasn’t my fault, i didn’t deserve it and i certainty do not deserve to be in this hole im in right now. He controlled me and i always looked up to him, i thought he was strong, i thought he was a man and i thought he could protect me yet he destroyed me. i am broken emotionally and physically, i am drained. i am not me anymore. heartbreak is horrible.
i need to remember he was not strong, he did not own me . ‘power over others is weakness disguised as strength’