What I want most

What I want most in my life, in my 32 years of life, I’ve just really discovered, and really confirmed, and really sure of what I want most in my life is to be loved.

Is it too shallow to admit that I need someone to complete me as a whole? I used to look at people who whine about not having a partner as desperadoes, that they have no clue that it’s a real privilege to be single and free. But now I wake up in the middle of the nights feeling anxious and lonely. I’ve tried , I’ve read and I really comprehend the concept of loving yourself and growing strong on your own. But … it’s tiring to pretend that I am strong, that I don’t need anyone, that it’s okay to be alone. It’s eating me on the inside, I feel as if a big chunk of me is gone and there’s nothing to replace it. It’s killing me slowly to acknowledge the fact that I am never good enough to be a part of your world, despite the fact that you’re the only one that has made me feel so complete and so loved. How am I going to live with this for the rest of my life.

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