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Keeper of Secrets

I’m not sure what it is about me, that people feel the need to tell me their secrets. Maybe its because i listen and don’t share my own or maybe because i don’t judge them, half of the time i want to tell them exactly what i think but ninety nine percent of the time its a bit too harsh and hard to handle and could be possibly scaring for that one person.

I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone all of my secrets and all of my thoughts, maybe my dog but i would pretend to have telekinetic powers with her. Sadly I have major trust issues. This is due to personal experiences and from observing my own friends.

I’ve always been an observer of character. How people act in certain situations, what they say, do, if they can keep their mouths shut, who they trust, how they judge other people, that kind of thing. Its more of a burden than a gift and this has made me reserved, i never tell anyone what I’m completely thinking, if they ask i only give them a quarter of my thoughts, just so i can be a mystery. 

Any how today my dad came to me and told me he resigned from his job. RESIGNED. And of course it followed up with “Don’t tell your mum”. I loathe hearing secrets, i mean most of the time i forget them but just knowing is stressful enough, and what worse it that I’m great at keeping them. For instance my brother used to work at a hotel and one night he fell and hit his head, his HEAD! This is a serious situation, he went to the hospital and decides to call me, the youngest of the family, he tell me “Im in the hospital with a  head  injury, I’m not sure how bad it is but don’t tell the family.” And then he reassured me and hung up. That was one of the worst nights of my life, not knowing what was the real state of him, so  many unanswered questions and i had no one to tell, if i told my best friend she would blab onto someone else and so on, plus they probably won’t awake, it was like 3 in the morning. i went to sleep crying to wake up and have to act clueless when my parents found out. I respect ones wishes when they want to keep something private because i think of myself in the same place, i love my privacy and i would want someone to respect my wishes too but i don’t want to hear their secrets, Jesus Christ if i had the memory of an Elephant id be screwed. As for dad he says he’s got another job lined up and thats why he resigned he didn’t want to share what it was and thank God, i don’t want to know more, i prefer to be oblivious than knowing everything. 

One thought on “Keeper of Secrets”

  1. It hard trusting people completely to be able to tell them your secrets. I like you only tell my dogs. People must feel very safe with you in order for them to tell you everything. They know you are a trusting person and they feel safe to tell you anything.
    Your dad should not keep that secret from your mom. Eventually your mom will notice that there is no longer money going into the checking account and she will be angry if she finds out that way. I hope your dad tells her soon.

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