Purely lies

Today I had the courage to check her FB account. You have no idea how much courage I took just to do that. And yes as I was expecting I saw something… I saw your comment using your brother’s account. You said you miss her. When I read that, everything completely stops. For a second I checked myself about how I feel when I am looking at your exchange of comments. There’s no words I could say but I know I was hurt. Do you know why I don’t bother checking her account even before, because I am scared to see things about you and her, because I know I will only get hurt. Just like now. They say what you don’t know won’t hurt you, but in my case once I found out about it, it’s twice the pain I felt. Your comment was dated February that was before you end everything between us. That was the time we are still actively communicating each other. Alam ko naman na hindi tumigil yun communication nyong dalawa, yun ang masakit. But did I ever confront you about that? No, because I know if I do ako din ang masasaktan sa isasagot mo. Sabi mo nga noon mahal mo sya at hindi mo sya kayang mawala. Naisip ko lang na lahat ng sinasabi mo sa akin sinasabi mo sa kanya. Do you remember when you are telling me sweet nothings in Kampampangan then I stopped you kasi tinanong ko kung Kapampangan ba sya. Nagalit ka ang sabi mo sa akin noon, na tapos na kayo at lahat ng sinasabi mo sa akin hindi mo sinabi sa kanya. Now what?! Everything was a lie. It’s full of lies.

 

– J

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