Boy: Alone

I’m so tired of loving him. 

I miss him so much.

Why the hell did I have to fall in love with my bully? 

The last time I saw him was at graduation. The last time I talked to him was last semester, in January. It hurts so much to love him. I bet he’s lost his virginity at this point, and that he’s forgotten me… I can’t forget him. I have dreams, daily, about him. He’s on my mind all the time and I probably will never see him again for all I know.

And the thing is: he’s such a douche. But I fell for that. He always stared at me, he would always mess with me, and touch me when he could, he’d hit on me, and talk to and about me     a lot, and he would over hear conversations I was in from feet away… I thought there was something.. But I was wrong. 

I can still feel his touch, his presence. It’s overwhelming. And I can still hear him. And smell him. And see him. 

In my dreams everything happens. From sex to happily ever after, to fights, to conversations, to how. I just wish it could be true…

i miss you, so much, boy. It’s crazy and I love you. 

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