One form. One simple form has thrown my life up in the air and spun it around like a tornado ripping through a small village causing causalities left right and centre.

A bit of background before I continue..
I’m a 30 year old single mum from Melbourne Australia. And no before you ask I don’t have a pet Koala and I don’t ride my Kangaroo down the street to the shops!
I have a beautiful 4 1/2 year old daughter, Miss A, who is the light of my life. S, Miss A’s “father” or sperm donor as I sometimes refer to him as, was engaged to someone else when we got pregnant, I however had no idea they were together! When my pregnancy was revealed L, who was S’s fiancé decided to stay with him and was happy to play happy families. S however was not and decided in my 7th month, on my birthday may I add, that he wanted nothing more to do with us. He has never seen or wanted to see his daughter.

Now on to this form.
I decided a few months back that I would love to take Miss A on a cruise. We have a trip to Disneyworld planned for next year but I thought a short cruise would be a nice little getaway for us. This however meant Miss A needed her first passport!!

I knew the process would be a little more difficult and would take a little longer. S isn’t on her birth certificate but pays child support (a long story!) and apparently this gives him some parental recognition (rolls eyes), this meant I would have to go through the special considerations board to get permission without him as I had no contact details for him plus he had told me to never get in contact with him again. I just didn’t realise the devastation one little form was about to cause.  

I filled in the form with no issues, sent it in and thought that would be it. Boy I was wrong! It was a Tuesday afternoon and Miss A and I had just arrived at a friends house after a busy morning at Ballet class. I got a phone call that would lead to the tornado that was about to rip through my life. “Hi this is Anna from the passport office, I am your caseworker for Miss A’s passport” It was the next line that made my stomach turn, do a backflip and drop to the ground “I am just letting you know that I have just sent a consent form to S to get this approval for Miss A’s Passport” Fuck! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!! S had told me 5 weeks after Miss A was born to never contact him again. Shit was about to hit that fan.

What happened the next day still shocks me 2 months on. The lies, the devastation, the guilt…

4 thoughts on “Prologue”

  1. My heart just breaks for you love…your story is truly a sad one. It sounds similar to a friend of mine who actually lives in Australia and I do believe not far from you. I send my best thoughts and wishes your way.

  2. Very sad and scarey. At least you have Miss A to love and to live for. I know she is in your heart deeper than anything else. I will pray for you. God bless you.

  3. Now I’m getting smart I decided to start at the beginning of your diary.
    I read your most recent entry and S has come a long way from being this man who was pushing you out of his life. He must have been doing a lot thinking in the last weeks/months. This must have been so hard for you to have to deal with him when he wasn’t willing to even talk to you.

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