I NEED ADVICE

My boyfriend an I have been together for about 2 and a half years now and in the beginning things were great and then about a year into our relationship he started to lie and he had dating apps on his phone and he was just really mean to me and we didn’t get along. That was kinda a while ago like about 4-5 months maybe even longer. Now every time we leave the house I feel like hes checking someone out and I always feel like shit about myself. He use to make me feel great and now its the complete opposite.  I thought things would get better by now but they haven’t. I’ve been thinking about leaving him a lot but I just love him so much. I can trust him a little more now but I still am so insecure about myself. I don’t know what to do. What can I do to make myself feel better. I don’t want to leave him because we been through so much together and I really love him and I just wanna be with him. But i can’t keep feeling this way. Theres things I wanna do that I can’t because I know Ill regret it because of him checking out other girls. I don’t feel like im what he wants. I dont feel good enough for him anymore. 

7 thoughts on “I NEED ADVICE”

  1. I tell him how I feel and he calls me pathetic. He said he didn’t cheat so I need to get over it. But yet if I did that to him it would be a different story.

  2. Hello, Sarah

    This won’t be the response that your heart wants but as someone who went through something similar my recommendation is to end the relationship before it hurts you more. I spend 7 years of my life with my ex, he made me feel so miserable and bad about myself but I kept holding on because I was so in love with him and I didn’t want to be alone. At the beginning he was a prince charming then he started to change lied to me all the time, was in many dating apps, cheated on me several times and abused me emotionally.
    Don’t let it get to that point, you have to be true to yourself, even if you are in love your own happiness needs to be your first concern, if he makes you feel like you are never good enough if he puts you down with words like he did by calling you pathetic someone who loves you would address the situation better, with love, comprehension and by making you feel secure not by putting you down and telling you to get over it.
    A relationship won’t work without trust, in the long run, will be harmful to your own health, believe me, you deserve to be happy, loved and understood even at your worst if it isn’t like this you are not with the right person.

  3. And if my friends were in this situation I would tell them to leave. Now I know how hard it was. He has his moments when he’s wonderfu . He’s trying to make up for what he did I’m just afraid its too late. He got rid of the apps and Facebook and Instagram and he hasn’t lied about where he is in a couple month . I just still feel insecure and I feel that I’m not good enough anymore.

  4. Hi Sarah
    Is always hard to leave someone after being attached to that person for so long first, you think you are going to die but the true is you never do and it starts to get better after a while.
    I don’t really know your relationship but follow your gut, believe me, it screams at you when something is wrong, if you can’t forgive and trust him completely even if he’s sincerely trying to make up it won’t work because you constantly doubt every action, it will make you anxious and at some point you will fight so take that into consideration.
    The most important thing is how this relationship makes you feel about yourself, does it make you better? do you feel at ease, secure, loved? If you are constantly feeling down and like you are not good enough it will make you miserable and cause you a lot of stress because you will be doubting and fighting yourself every day and that is exhausting. So please be true to yourself and look for your own happiness.

  5. Sometimes you have to view leaving someone and going through the heartbreak as if you were getting over an illness ….meaning when you are sick you are down, you feel bad that is expected so go with it, take care of yourself to get well you know you are sick (aka heartbroken) so you are on the mend, do things that will help the hurt and eventually …..(everyone’s time frame is different) eventually it will hurt less. That is how I look at it when I get into something i know is not good for me, I’m like “this is going to hurt” but I prepare myself to go thru the heartbreak until i’m healed….so don’t run from it (the hurt that comes from leaving someone) embrace it, take it head on, time is the ONLY thing that will heal this kind of stuff….believe me I wish they would invent a pill or have a professional hypnotist get you out of these feelings.

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