Concentration

I’ve spent most of the day doing my school stuff (discussions & assignments) and thankfully I’m almost done! Just need to post one more discussion, finish up some reading, and attend my live seminar. I’ll be done with my first week yay! Technically I’ll be done until Wednesday (when the new week starts) but I’m going to try and stay ahead in my classes, that way if needed I can “slack off” lol. 

My entire day has been focused on school, which is good but I can’t help but have my mind wonder. I haven’t heard from my Master since last night ugh. I know he has other obligations (as do I) but I’m finding that if I don’t get to speak with him I get down. I look forward to talking with him, whether it’s about Dom/sub things or just normal everyday things. I’m finding that I not only want to talk to him but need to talk to him. I’m not entirely sure if this is something he wants from me? I know he wants almost complete control over me but not sure if me needing him as much as I do is part of that?

I’m still fumbling my way through this relationship, trying my hardest to please him but also trying to figure out just how far of the control I should want/need to give up. He’s told me he wants control of my mind/body/soul, so I guess that means my thoughts and feelings as well. 

I’m always wondering what he is thinking and feeling, but not sure if I can ask. Always curious as to how far he wants this relationship to go. Of course curious if he’d ever want it to be a in person relationship if it was possible. I’m ok with what we have now and know as time goes by we will grow closer together, form a deeper bond. He’s already told me that I’m his forever, that no matter what I can’t stop being his sub ❤️ I will admit I love that he said that, that he wants me to be his! 

Now that I’ve spilled every thought I’ve had today I guess I should get back to my school stuff. The sooner I get it done the sooner I can just relax!

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