Introduction and why I’m writing

Hey, my name is James. I’m gonna write this as if I was talking to a friend, just someone to listen to me babbling on. There’s two major topics I wanted to talk at you about today, my life lately and this girl I work with. I’m gonna break this down into two large paragraphs with what is sure to be terrible grammar and poor construction.

So first I’ll start with some stuff about my Life. I’m 20 years old, I want to be a teacher for Special Needs children in Elementary School. I have spent most of my life trying to be a good son, a good brother, a good christian. I have had to take care of my 3 younger sisters a lot growing up and life’s always been kind of rough so I had to grow up fast as a kid. Since the middle of Feburary of 2016 my family and I have been homeless. First we stayed in a hotel, then we stayed with a friend named T and then we decided to move across the country to Florida to live with my oldest little sister’s friends family. We were there for about a month and a half, almost two months. That was until a few nights back. My oldest little sister is 17 and suffers from Bipolar disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. She was in the hospital for a week because of a melt down, she came home around 7pm on night and her friend started a fight with her, and my sister was in a police car by 9:30pm. That night I got off work at 10, came home and had to move all of our stuff from her friends house to a new lady’s house. This was Thursday night. Since then I have worked two 12 hour shifts at my job at Outback in order to keep busy and stay away from home.  Today one of the managers came to me and asked me if I was interested in learning togo and being a daytime server. I was very much interested although I’m not 100% sure what computer stuff I’m supposed to do so I’ll have to ask her tomorrow so I know for sure. So work’s going pretty well for me, I’m excited for the potential and for the future.

Now here comes the reason I wanted to write a Journal in the first place. This girl I work with who I wont name, but will refer to her as J. J is the head host at my job and is one of the most gorgeous women I have ever met in my life. She has a beautiful middle eastern heritage that I find amazing. Her family has some money and even still she’s increadibly down to earth and easy to talk to. She’s my best friend at my job. I dont have a car right now so she gives me rides home from work almost any time we work together, even though that means sometimes one of us works later or gets off a little early. I really enjoy her presence, she just brightens up my day when I see her. Especially when I can make her laugh or smile at me. See I love puns, bad jokes, anything that’s silly but funny. I laugh at myself all the time. And even though I’m pretty funny some people can be very adamant about not laughing at my jokes. But what she does is almost better. Sometimes she’ll laugh, othertime’s she’ll roast me and roll her eyes while laughing. Those are the best. She’s got this beautiful big brown eye’s, and man they’re pretty. When you look at them its like one of those pictures that satilites will take of nebulas. I know it’s cheesy but its like I can see eternity in her eyes. I love her eyes. And her hair! Its so just large and in charge and when she does her braid for work it always falls on her right shoulder and when it does her left ear will peak out just a little bit and its such a tiny “flaw” but its so adorable, its like just insanely cute. I find myself so engrossed in her face I rarely even look at her rear end or her boobs. Its like “Hey baby do you have a map, because I got lost in your eyes” But in such a real way. Well I asked her to take me to an outlet mall so I could get some clothes the other day and she was cool with it but then she decided we’re gonna take a trip to the local metropolitan area and go shopping for clothes and for stuff for her dorm and make a day of it. I have never been so nervous and excited for something in my entire life. Its like, I cannot wait to just see her and spend time with her. I bask in her presence. I want to work late sometimes just so she’ll give me a ride home. I want to go to work early so she can pick me up. Last night I stayed late to work with her and suggested we go get frozen yogurt, but they were all closed. Tonight she took me to an ice cream place near my house and it was great. This other guy we work with who is kind of a sleeze ball asked her out while we were there over text and it just made me so mad. I hated seeing him do that. It was infuriating! She asked me what to say, how to let him down. I said “Just say you can’t because you just had ice cream with me” And she agreed, but is gonna try to be more harsh cause he’s a sleeze ball who has slept with a few girls at work but thats for another angry post, this one is supposed to be pleasant. I’m just so conflicted because I want her to be mine but I love being her friend, I appreciate the friendship so deeply and truly that I dont want to risk it. 

So yeah, anyway that’s whats on my mind right now. Its currently 12:44am as I’m finishing this and I’ll get to see her tomorrow at 4pm when I come in for work and I’m looking forward to it. Thanks for taking the time to read this and listen to me talk. This felt good to write down so I’m gonna try to do it again every night before bed. Night folks

2 thoughts on “Introduction and why I’m writing”

  1. I think it’s nice that you’ve decided to write out your feelings here–writing is one of the best ways to grow and learn about yourself. It was quite nice reading about you, if that doesn’t sound kind of weird and stalker-ish, and I hope you have a good day where you are and keep writing!

  2. @PrettyinBlack Thanks! I appreciate that you enjoyed it, I put up another journal post if you’re interested, it’s a lot shorter than this one.

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