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The days dwindle

I hate to dwell… but I consider this of the up most importance to me. To understand what I’m going to try to explain I need to share one important fact. I don’t dream. When I sleep, my eyelids close, every thing fades to black, and when I awake I just rise out of a fog with no thought of what I might have been thinking. This is the way it has always been. Others like The Man or my sister constantly want to share their crazy, elaborate dreams with me. I feel an emptiness that I have very little experience of dreams to share.

It’s not that I’ve never dreamed. I have. Those dreams have ALL been prophetic either 100% accurate of what would unfold in the very near future or symbolic of big issues going on in my life – very easy to interpret. I could share with you exactly what I mean, but these glimpses into my world are intimate.

The night before last… I dreamt Toothless died. It was the end. It was definitive. In the dream I had found her body underneath Deedee’s bed. It was literally in 2 halves. I could see her organs, her spine, everything that made her Toothless. I guess I visually saw what the tumor would do. It was awful.

I could barely believe she was still alive when I woke up. She’s here. She’s alive. She’s walking, eating, grooming, doing her usual. I think this dream means her time is almost up. I will savor every day we have left together.

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