I hate how you changed, I hate how I fell in love with a perfect man and lost him. I hate that I ended up with someone who turned out just to be like my father :(.
Yep I guess Iam that girl with daddy issues. I have no idea what a good relationship is, hopefully I will find that someday. My mum and dad divorced when I was a teenager because of his drinking. He was a brilliant man and still is when sober. the drinking just took over. They always said that children that grow up with alcoholic parents end up with alcoholic partners because they don’t realise the danger signs. I guess thats how I ended up with a partner with a drinking problem.. Well when I say drinking problem it is no problem to him , but certainly to me. It is so normal in his family to drink on a lot of occasions. only in recent years I am seeing how much his personality is changing. I didn’t realise how big a problem it was until after we broke up .. a lot of my anxieties are away because aim not worried about what time he will come home at or who he’s with. even to his language and how he speaks to people has completely changed. I am still in love with the teenage boy I met when he was 19, but that kind gentleman is not there anymore.
I hope I learn how to let a good man into my life. I did meet an absolutely perfect man and I pushed him away as I wasn’t ready for it. I tried to find something wrong with him. I guess the timing was just wrong. I really hope I can find a good guy and not fall for the same pattern. I been through so much growing up I couldn’t cope going through it again.