Never loved the same.

So far in my life span of 23 years, I’ve had three different men tell me that their in-love with me. As i write this Im in actual shock that I can say that tears are being brought to my eyes. No one will ever understand how when I respond I mean what I say. To say the least , I’ve come to realize that maybe im not meant to be with anyone in the long run.

These three men all have something in common besides stating their false sense of love, I’ve always been second to third on their list. My soul has a lack of meaning to these men , which is why I’m always and forever mentally alone. I cant say that I believe in love for myself, I dont see a human loving me unless its my  family. I’m so scared because I’m always the one calling you back, saying sorry , remembering special moments, saying I love you first, never letting your tears stream all the way down to your chin. I’v never seen you do this before.

I always love more than the other person, It made me cry myself to sleep for 5 years. Then I ended that relationship. Now im in another one , lets start counting the time period I cry. 

So far I’ve been crying since March 5th.

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