thinking.

I supported you. We were good friends–all three of us. You two had feelings for each other. As your best friend, I had to support you. I liked him, too, only a small crush. When you came to me all worried, nervous, panicked, what could I possibly do? Instead, I told you, “If you like him, tell him.” And that was what I did. You two loved each other.

Fast forward a few months ahead, I suddenly felt… isolated. More alone when I spoke with you two. Although we talked, it felt like.. I was talking to myself. My chest felt like a constant empty ache that I had to bear with. I couldn’t confront you guys. You two were so in love that.. I felt pushed away. I cried when I thought about you guys. Having trust issues, I opened up so much, and yet.. I feel so betrayed. Even now and then when I complain to another friend, as she continuously hands me the same advice over and over, I still don’t know what to do.

I’m tired.

Because you two are so in love, I feel alone. Because you two only see each other as if I were not here, I feel a weight on my shoulder. Even when I try to start 3/4 the conversations, they never work out as I wanted them to. Now it feels like a job. To make sure we talk daily. It never made much progress.

Maybe I just put too much effort in our friendship.

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