Now the basic backstory has been told I can finally move on to the events that have taken place over the past two months. Please forgive me if this is confusing, I too am still confused myself and I lived through it!
After receiving the message from L basically asking who Miss A was and why on earth her husband was being sent consent forms, I replied basically saying “you knew about her, you asked for a copy of my 12 week scan” It was then she replied “I did? or S did? I don’t think I’ve ever had your number?” I wasn’t sure what to believe. Was this woman playing some kind of sick game with me? Was she trying to trick me into something? Was she actually telling the truth?
I didn’t reply to her messages after that. I thought I’d wait to see my lawyer and have a chat to him about what was going on. It was then that S started messaging me.
“Hey, I think we have a few things to clear up. The last time i spoke with you I said the child wasn’t mine and if it was I didn’t want to be part of it, since then I have received no correspondence around this whole situation until yesterday (assuming I actually wasn’t the father) when I received the passport application stating that I was the father. So does this mean I am registered on her birth certificate as the father? If this is the case I would like to clarify that I am in fact the father with a paternity test. I will get it organized and pay for it if you could let me know when you would be free to do it”
What the fuck!! LIES upon LIES!!! He was involved through my whole pregnancy!
I chose to also ignore his messages until I talked to my lawyer. This however hasn’t for another 4 days. They both continued to message me, S even went as far as leaving me a voice message on fb messenger.
When I saw my lawyer I showed him all of the correspondence. He thought S and all his lies were quite amusing. He convinced me that he was almost certain L was telling the truth and that he wouldn’t object to me continuing contact with her.
I messaged L back as soon as I got home from the Lawyers office answering all of the questions she had been asking without response for those 4 days.
“Ok, some answers to some of your previous questions… Yes I am 100% sure S is Miss A’s father. No he’s not on the birth certificate, he refused to sign. However, he has been paying child support for the last 4.5years so I’m confused to why he would suddenly question paternity. He was well aware of Miss A and had contact with me throughout my pregnancy. S told me 4.5 years ago to never contact him again therefore he will hear from my solicitor in the coming days regarding the paternity test. Being a mother yourself I’m sure you can understand that my daughter is my number one priority and my main focus is to not have her affected by this in any way.”
She replied “I HAD NO IDEA” and so the lies began unravelling!
We exchanged messages upon messages, both of us being surprisingly friendly to the other. I’ve never in my life heard of someone who had told as many lies as S had. I sent L screen shots of all the old text messages that I had kept on my old phone from S. He had no where to hide now!
I found out quite a lot from L and she found out quite a lot from me…
They weren’t broken up when we conceived Miss A
They were down for L’s sisters Wedding and had had a fight the night Miss A was conceived
L was in the house I dropped S at
L was never told he slept with me or that I was pregnant
S never told his parents like he told me he did
The address where I sent his copy of the 20 week scan was not their home address (he told me they moved)
He didn’t have all the baby stuff he claimed to have (to L’s knowledge)
S apparently sent me messages from L’s phone pretending to be her
L and S were married 3 months after Miss A was born
They had their son 1year and 1day after Miss A was born
Theres so much more that I just cant think of!!
I told L that I was insulted that anyone would question the paternity of my daughter, I knew who her father was and us much as he didn’t want to admit it he knew to! However I knew she needed to know for sure to decide where to take her life after being lied to for the past 5 years, so I agreed to do one. We did the test and 10 long days later the results were in…. There is a 99.9999996% chance that S is Miss A’s father!
So this is where we are right now. S hasn’t contacted me since I didn’t reply to his messages filled with lies 2 months ago when he was asking for the test. I message with L almost everyday discussing S and our kids and what the future hold for them.
I agreed to meet up with L and discuss all of this in person (eeekkkk)! This meeting is taking place tomorrow afternoon. Im not too sure how I feel about it all at the moment. I will not be taking Miss A with me, but L will be bringing her son, Miss A’s brother.
I still sit here baffled by all the lies that have gone on. I’m so paranoid L and S are both lying and are playing some sick game with me but at this point I just have to give L a chance and just be really cautious.
I have no idea when or even if I will ever see S, that’s something I don’t even want to think about right now. My feelings are so all over the place. The one thing I know for sure is my little girl comes first, and I will never let anyone, her “father” included, hurt her or make her feel like she was ever unwanted.