uuuuugghh depressed again

I’m feeling  sad right now and nothing has happened to me except this depression that hits me from time to time. I have a really creative brain and yet I am plagued by depression and anxiety. Almost doesn’t make sense but I think that with any mental or emotional disability, there is a creative side to the brain that thinks in a way ‘normal’ people don’t think. I really believe that. I have a really big imagination. It can make things feel really good or it can make me feel scared and insecure. Depends on the types of things on my mind. There is no one to comfort me or cheer me up except if I ‘pretend’ I have lots of caring friends.  At least I imagine what it would be like. My social phobia ruined my life. People in general just want nothing to do with me. Or they will only be my ‘friend’ on social networking and not call me or text or want to do things with me, The people I already know. I want better but not willing to get it. Maybe that means I don’t want it. Well, I tried “chasing” people down for years to be friends, calling, texting, writing letters. They didn’t get it, I guess. Well, I’m tired of talking about it.

2 thoughts on “uuuuugghh depressed again”

  1. I had depression for years and still have anxiety disorder, but I’m on medications for both and it REALLY helps. Have you considered seeing a doctor, your regular family doctor? In your picture I see one friend……a puppy? I can’t see it very well. A pet is one of the best friends around. But you need people too, of course. I will pray for you, Shannon. I care. Oh, btw I am intensely creative too. I know what you mean about that. Bye for now.

  2. Oh yeah I forgot, I’ve been on over a dozen different meds over a course of 21 years. They never work, or they cause severe or bothersome side-effects. I’ve been to counselors, psychiatrists etc.starting when I was eleven in the 80s. I still go to a psychiatrist for the meds I take now. At this point I see no reason to waste my time on any other meds except the one for anxiety. I’m 41 years old and my life has pretty much been filled with frustration over these drugs. Ive also read a lot of self-help books over a period of 20 years. I ought to have a degree by now.lol Thanks for trying to help.

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