Abuse towards women

It’s scary sometimes how my past comes back to haunt me. When it comes to women, i had this twisted idea that i own em and i change to a different person for the worse. It goes back to my childhood seeing how my abusive father treated my mom and that’s how i began treating other girls. I can remember how my fist crashed right into my friend’s eye after we got in an argument. I can remember pulling one’s hair, scratching one in the arm, terrorizing a few more, and remembering their cries. Even as an adult, i have been verbally and emotionally abusive without knowing why. Sometimes it feels like someone is plotting against me. This isn’t towards all women. Just some in certain situations. I look back on it and look in the mirror and i’m like “oh my god did i just do that? Am i turning into my father?” That’s where i decided something had to change. Not sure if i’m meant to be with anyone, but if i am then i hope i can be the right one for them.

 
 
 

One thought on “Abuse towards women”

  1. At least you have the good sense to recognize that there is indeed a problem. You also seem to have shame in regards to it. That means this can absolutely be resolved. You need to learn how to calm your rage (I’ve been there). This means before that switch has been flipped, bail out. Go for a walk. When I’m angry I take long, aggressive walks. I push all that pent up anger and energy out as my feet stomp across the ground. If an incident happens via text or social media, I flee the scene. If I’m in a conversation over the phone I say “I’ve got to stop right here. Well talk later. Bye” and then I hang up and turn my phone off. Basically, I don’t allow myself to get so worked up.

    In terms of energy, there’s a lot of when it comes to anger and aggression. You can’t deny. The trick is to apply else where that isn’t destructive.

    Hope that helps.

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