It’s scary sometimes how my past comes back to haunt me. When it comes to women, i had this twisted idea that i own em and i change to a different person for the worse. It goes back to my childhood seeing how my abusive father treated my mom and that’s how i began treating other girls. I can remember how my fist crashed right into my friend’s eye after we got in an argument. I can remember pulling one’s hair, scratching one in the arm, terrorizing a few more, and remembering their cries. Even as an adult, i have been verbally and emotionally abusive without knowing why. Sometimes it feels like someone is plotting against me. This isn’t towards all women. Just some in certain situations. I look back on it and look in the mirror and i’m like “oh my god did i just do that? Am i turning into my father?” That’s where i decided something had to change. Not sure if i’m meant to be with anyone, but if i am then i hope i can be the right one for them.