Hi. This would be my first entry. I’ve decided to make this because I want to empty my head with my heavy thoughts and I find this as an interesting platform to do that. I am not good in saying what’s in my head so I guess I might just write it.
Tonight, I want to talk about my dissatisfaction about the way of life I have. You might think that we’re one of those poor family who can’t even eat more than 3 times a day (i’m not saying either that we’re dirty rich), but we are not. The problem about me is I can’t find happiness with what I have. I tried, I really tried to appreciate and value things, not just the actual material things but everything I have. But at the end of the day, I find myself on my bed thinking, ‘when was the last time i actually felt genuinely happy?’ With that I can’t answer myself. It’s also makes me extra sad to realize that I am not happy doing things and having things that I thought will make me happy. Maybe I am happy, but not a hundred percent happy. I really tried to be contented about everything but I can’t find the real sense of all of these. Some say, ‘youre 20 and young, many things and more eventful matters will come don’t worry.’ But why is that something in my head is telling to want it all at this very moment? Where can I find contentment? I am now confused ugh. I will end this now, good night everyone.
P.S. i hope someone reads this, that would really help me.