Even though I didn’t get much sleep or much good sleep last night today I’m feeling good. I got up cleaned the kitchen, threw in some laundry, and picked up the rest of the house. I still need to do my usual twice a week thorough cleaning but I’m happy with what I accomplished today. I also ran to the store to pick up a few essentials..milk, bread etc.
I also took some time to look over what I need to do this week for school. There’s a lot for me to do, usually it’s reading and research that is the most time consuming ugh. I plan on starting my reading later this evening so I can stay ahead of the week. I know Master expects me to stay ahead, to get my responsibilities taken care of in a timely manner.
I also know he expects me to be available to him 24/7 and if I let my chores or school get in the way he will punish me as he sees fit. He will motivate first, but if I take advantage of the motivation he will immediately turn to punishment. I also understand that if I’m a good little girl he will reward me for staying on top of things, I prefer being rewarded!
The only command Sir gave me today was to be roped with the knot inside me. I look forward to the days that I can be roped or bound! They hurt like hell but it’s the satisfaction I get from feeling him with me all day. It motivates me to be good, to obey, to know I’m pleasing him by enduring the pain for as long as he wants me to. There are times I want to ask, no beg, to be released from the ropes but I don’t. I want to show him I can and will endure what pleases him. If I really had to be released, if I truly couldn’t handle it anymore I would ask/beg. I know he is kind enough to take my thoughts and feelings into consideration and would make the appropriate adjustments or allow release if I needed it. Just because it’s uncomfortable and painful though I refuse to ask, part of being a good sub is doing things I don’t like to bring pleasure to my Master.