Dear Diary

Hello. This is my first entry…. Er… I’m not sure what to type here… 

So, I’ll just talk about myself then, I guess.

I’m an Indian. I’m majoring in English for Bachelor of Arts. It might sound something big but it really isn’t. I’m terrible in English. Also, it’s not even my first language. Mum and Dad say it’s wrong to study a foreign language and not my mother-tongue but I’m more comfortable in English than Bangla. That doesn’t mean I think that Bangla is any less than English or whatever bullshit everyone assumes.

I might be depressed. Though I’m not sure why. I know it’s silly and strange but I can’t help it and I’d really like to fix that but I can’t, so, whatever. For now, let’s just see how long I can survive without thinking about how depressed I am. Fangirling helps. I’ll forever be thankful to JK Rowling for that. She and her Harry Potter series have helped me quite a lot. Harry Potter was my first proper fandom and since then I’ve stopped feeling so alone as I used. Any lonely depressed soul out there, I’d like to tell you that fandoms can help you with your loneliness. I might be hiding from the real world behind books and anime series and fandoms and stuff, but it’s comforting and I don’t want to give it up. It’s not like I have friends or anything. I don’t want friends. I don’t care that Mum is constantly making fun of me because of that and pointing it out way too often (yes, do you hear that, Mother, way too often!) and I don’t care that it’s not socially acceptable. “Friends” have given me enough trouble that I’ve started question the actual concept of friendship. 

So. Yeah. Whatever. I might be weird and stupid. But somehow I do exist and I’m alive. And I’d like to believe that.

3 thoughts on “Dear Diary”

  1. That’s a great first post! I think it is great that you are following your heart, even if your parents disagree. I don’t think you are weird and yes you are alive!

  2. Hi! I don’t think you’re stupid at all for liking what you want to like! I mean, I can’t even imagine what my life would be like without my fandoms (Harry Potter, same as you!), because there’d just be a huge empty space where my heart is taken up by fanfiction and such things. Hope you keep living and existing just the way you are as long as you’re doing what makes you happy!

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