How do you trust again?

How do you trust again, when you have been burned more then once by the same person? I don’t think I can ever feel the way that I felt for him before… everything used to be perfect!! we had our own place… he worked and I stayed at home with my son… cooking, cleaning.. doing the stay at home mom and wife thing.. then we got pregnant.. and what happened? Yep, you guessed it.. he ran… So then I was a single mom, once again.. pregnant, with a toddler, and working to make a life for me and my kids… then the worst thing that a mother could ever go through, a miscarriage!!! I felt as I had failed as a woman!! I dealt with it the best way that I could and then I just had to keep living life, I had a son that I had to take care of and couldn’t let down!! I had to keep fighting, even though life had threw me a huge curveball I had to keep going!! I’m living life once again, just me and my son, everything is getting back to normal again… I was working, had my own vehicle… and then we reconnect again… we decide to work things out again and everything seemed to be getting back to normal… then I wind up pregnant once again.. he seems to be so happy about it, then it was like deja vu once again!! he leaves, and gets back with the same person he left me for once again… 14 months later and he decides that he is ready to be a daddy and wants to be a family and now, everything seems to be better then ever!! He is proposed and I have this beautiful ring on my finger and we have absolutely nothing to fight about… but what happens, his ex starts popping up in his inbox again and he is responding to her and I don’t really know what they are etalking about just what he is telling me and then when I go to look in his phone their messages has been deleted!!! I have never stepped out on him and I have never even thought about it, but he definetly doesn’t have my trust at this point and time and the way things are going I doubt he ever will!! only time will tell!! 🙁

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