Yesterday he texted me and asked what I wanted to do.
So I called him and told him that I wanted to end our marriage. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. All I kept thinking in my head, “Am I actually saying this? Is this real life? I’m 25 and getting a divorce?” But the moment I said, the moment that I finally accepted it, I knew it was the best decision for me.
Ironically enough, right after I said that, he told me he had signed up for some individual classes for his anger management. I told him that was great, and I encouraged him to go, but that it wasn’t going to change my decision. 4 weeks I waited. During those 4 weeks he sent me horrible texts, making me feel bad about myself, and NOW he wants to try to fix our marriage? I’m sorry… but it’s too late.
He broke my heart and it’s not something that I can easily forgive him for. At least not yet, anyway. He destroyed my trust in the marriage – my hope for our future and for future children – all because he chose to become violent and scare me. He made that decision. I’M not walking away from my marriage. I am walking away from violence.
I am walking toward a brighter future. I feel so much better today.. and while I’m still sad, or have my moments of what feels like depression.. I know it’ll get better.