I need to start turning my electronics off earlier.

I have had an extremely bad evening.

My car got impounded by some stupid parking regulations while I was at a friend’s house. I had just earned my very first paycheck today, but it cost me the whole thing just to get it back out again. :/

Arriving home finally at 11pm, I stopped into a chat of a group I’m part of. One of the members had been dumped by their partner and was ranting about it. They were very excitable as were the other member of the chat. I tried to get everyone to quiet down (and later got called rude for it. What can I say? I’m just a very very rude brat as my mother tells me whenever she becomes furious with me. It’s no surprise that “rude” and “brat” are two of my trigger words).

[Quote]You do know all your suggestions are making it worst?[/quote]

I’m really am just a horrible person. What can I say? Frankly I’m surprised that anyone can deal with me or put up with my shit. It’s difficult enough dealing with my own life but when people bring their own personal issues into a chat, I always try to help them the best I can which only puts more stress and anxiety on me.

Medically, I am depressed. I do take medication. I talk to a counselor on a monthly basis.

It all started when I was in 10th grade. I was best friends with another individual who shall remain nameless. This person thought cutting them self was fun. They spread their own issues and depression to me through our bonds of friendship, almost infecting me. I brought this person’s cutting to the attention of my mother who in turn brought it to the attention of their mother who in turn blamed me for their child’s depressed actions.

I lost a friend that day because I cared for them but I kept the depression that they passed onto me.

In the next few years, I have spoken with many depressed individuals. I have talked many out of harming or killing themselves. Many have made the important changes that their life required, but there are always more. I feel like a vampire hunter that is also a vampire. I’m a depressed person who tries to help other depressed people over come it. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. It sure makes me a [b]rude[/b] one. :/

It was a difficult day that was only made harder by the stress, drama, and trials of my experiences here on RPR.

Goodnight depressed friend. Goodnight hater. Goodnight chatroom. Goodnight RPR.

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