I’m pretty sure that I expend too much of my energy trying to make sure that people are uplifted. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy knowing that other’s are made happy, via whatever it is that I am able to do.. but I’m worn thin, more often than not and the tale is as old as time that you give and you give and no one wants to give anything back. I know this. I know this just as sure a I know that I breathe unclean air.
What I realize now, is that even while knowing this, I still exhaust my efforts to help these heathens. I’ve been told before that I am both undervalued and underappreciated and yet I just keep on rolling. I am a masochist in most senses and more often than not, I still desire to help the congenital asshole. There is a sick satisfaction and yet a burning frustration in knowing that these people will take from me and never give it back.
That is both interesting and disgusting, simultaneously.