I think I put too much time and effort into people who naturally don’t give a flying fuck about me. It’s almost ritualistic, how I bide my time with their bullshit and listen to their whining and pining. I’d sit up to three in the morning, knowing damn well I have to be at work by nine.. but just to make sure that they’re alright. Don’t get me wrong, people “listen” to me, too.. but they don’t hear me the way that I hear them. When I want someone to listen, I don’t need the return advice. If I wanted it, I’d pose a question that asks for it. It’s nice to give it if you’ve got it and I get that, but sometimes.. people just want you to shut up and open your ears. So, when I say that they don’t give a shit about me, what I mean by this, is that they can get what it is that they want and turn around to regard me with silence for months and months on end.. but I’m expected to talk to them ever since they ‘heard’ me out. Maybe this is ridiculous, maybe I’m just truly raving about nothing, but when I think about someone I thought I liked.. someone I was sure would melt the ice around my heart, only to find out that it’s the exact opposite? I wonder if anyone can relate to the sudden aggravation I’m in the midst of experiencing.
What makes it that much more funny, is that I’ve been trying to distance myself from Day 1 and they just won’t let it go.