eventually

It’s Hard, Sometimes.

I think I put too much time and effort into people who naturally don’t give a flying fuck about me. It’s almost ritualistic, how I bide my time with their bullshit and listen to their whining and pining. I’d sit up to three in the morning, knowing damn well I have to be at work by nine.. but just to make sure that they’re alright. Don’t get me wrong, people “listen” to me, too.. but they don’t hear me the way that I hear them. When I want someone to listen, I don’t need the return advice. If I wanted it, I’d pose a question that asks for it. It’s nice to give it if you’ve got it and I get that, but sometimes.. people just want you to shut up and open your ears. So, when I say that they don’t give a shit about me, what I mean by this, is that they can get what it is that they want and turn around to regard me with silence for months and months on end.. but I’m expected to talk to them ever since they ‘heard’ me out. Maybe this is ridiculous, maybe I’m just truly raving about nothing, but when I think about someone I thought I liked.. someone I was sure would melt the ice around my heart, only to find out that it’s the exact opposite? I wonder if anyone can relate to the sudden aggravation I’m in the midst of experiencing. 

What makes it that much more funny, is that I’ve been trying to distance myself from Day 1 and they just won’t let it go.

2 thoughts on “It’s Hard, Sometimes.”

  1. I see you and I hear you. I am guilty of giving people advice that they don’t want. What helps me is when people just say, I don’t want advice. And then it’s like, okay, and we go from there. It’s hard that sometimes people seem to be more interested in how to fix it and how to get on with their day. I know I’ve felt like that. It used to make it seem like no one was willing to see me where I was. They wanted me to feel differently or change in some way. Sometimes I just need to vent and have someone else not judge what I’m saying because I probably don’t mean it. Life is weird sometimes…

  2. Exactly. I’m just tired of the ‘Well you can always..’ or ‘This is what I did back then..’ as if that’s the be all, end all of how I’m feeling. That scope of things doesn’t really leave me with much comfort, but honestly.. the only comfort I’m seeking is for someone to just listen. You’re absolutely right.

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