He was in a car accident last night. I received a call at 3AM that he was in the hospital, injured, and asking for me. After the call I cried for the next 30 minutes, unsure about what to do. I was afraid that he was going to die, I was scared of going back, and I was afraid of what I fear. I began to hyperventilate and I tried to calm myself down and kept replaying the last time we saw each other, in an effort to stay away. But as I sat in my room, contemplating my options, I realized I couldn’t stay away. All of my resentment and fear turned into desperation to see him. Every cell in my body was screaming his name. 2 hours later I ran to his side. I’m not a perfect person, I know I’m diving into my own destruction.
But his love is intoxicating and electric and magnetic. I love him more than anyone I’ve ever known. I’ve never met anyone as amazing, intelligent, charismatic, and advance as he. I know his good side and I’ve witnessed his evil side, but I fell in love with him in spite of it. So when I saw him bleeding, and vulnerable, and hurt, I felt a thunder in my heart. He was so heartbroken when he asked me if I would be willing to go home with him. He looked me straight in my eyes, and with tears in his eyes, and covered in blood, he told me how deeply he loves me and how he can’t live without me. I know how loving, and kind, and sweet, and inspiring he can be, and just like before, I will not break for him, and I’ll stand by him, and I’ll be there for him – because that’s what love is. For better or for worse.