Sleep deprivation

I love the clicking sound that happens when you tap your fingers upon the keyboard. Especially at night. It’s almost soothing and I don’t really understand why I’m like that or why I think that but honestly I love it. I currently have the harry potter marathon playing currently beside me and it’s really dark inside my bedroom. Words cannot comprehend how much I love the darkness. I only have two lights on right now and that is my laptop to write and my flat screen to watch the marathon. It’s so peaceful. I really shouldn’t rant about how much I love this because if yall have read my old blogs then you know I love the dark. I’m much better at writing at nighttime because in all honesty that is the time in which all my thoughts come together and I’m fully able to think. I can write during the daytime but it is much harder to condense what I’m thinking into sentences because I’m stressed during the day. I have too many thoughts for my mind to process. At night the stress seems to go away and I’m able to think. I believe that is the reasoning behind people becoming more emotional at night. There brain moves on from the stresses and goes to much darker things.

School will be starting soon. I have this summer reading project that I’m required to do even though it’s summer so that’s always fun. The book that I picked out of the reading list was “The fifth wave by Rick Yancey”. Even though I was required to read the book, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I plan on buy the rest of the series. It isn’t like any other book I’ve read and honestly that is a good thing. I finished the book in just a few days and I plan on starting the assignment that came with it also. I don’t know how long it is going to take me to do it but my plans are to go to work in the morning and then come back from church and make a coffee and just do it for the entire day. I would start it tonight but in all honesty I’m at peace so I will just do it tomorrow. Anyways, back to talking about school. It starts on the 29th of august and my birthday is on the 24th. Talk about a great birthday gift! I believe that I go for orientation on the 17th and that is where I get my schedule and see all the people that I don’t want to see. This year is absolutely going to kill me in all honesty. I don’t know why I decided to make this year my hardest year but I did. I came to the conclusion that I’m not going to do soccer this year and instead I’m doing swimming. I always have been a fairly fast swimmer so I guess I’m really going to test my luck this year and really see how fast I am. I’ve never had anyone in my life beat me in a swimming race but I’m sure I will have some tough competition this year.

I know I’m not writing very often but I have some kind of exciting news. I plan on writing every single day starting on the first day of school. I can make the promise that I will write every day up until Christmas and from there I will see how I’m doing. I really wouldn’t mind starting to write daily again but that is a lot of work and it can become a hard hobby to do. It will be hard to write daily but I know I can do it.

It is only 11pm but it honestly feels so much later. I keep looking at my iPhone expecting it to say that it is 1 in the morning but that is simply not the case. I feel that I only expect it to be so late because I’m really tired. I don’t know how but I’m somehow sleep deprived. It doesn’t matter that it’s summer. All year round I am sleep deprived and I don’t know how to fix that. I know the most rhetorical answer is to go to sleep but it’s not that simple. I can get a full 12 hours of sleep and still somehow be tired beyond belief. It is somehow something that has inhabited into me. I’m sure it will only get worse as I get older and that thought doesn’t really comfort me because I will only become more stressed as I get older and being even more tired than I am now while being more stressed isn’t good.

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