There were occasions back in the Spring of 2015 when the voices and the physical sensations were so bad that I had decided that I was either going to call a mental health specialist or that I was simply going to drive to the hospital, walk right in and confess that I was hearing voices so bad that it felt like my mind was about to shatter into a thousand pieces. There were nights that were so bad that I felt like I wouldn’t even be able to drive myself to the hospital and that I would have to call 911 and be picked up by an ambulance. I didn’t know what I was going to tell them about my situation. There never really was any doubt in my mind that I was dealing with something other-worldly here with how it all came about as a result of my dabbling with spirit communication via EVP, how others had also heard what I had recorded, the physical sensations I was experiencing as well as the poltergeist activity I had previously experienced. There were nights when my mind was breaking apart it seemed. I was hearing voices everywhere, all around me, through the walls, over other sounds. I was also occasionally hearing the sounds of people running through my house even though there was no one else there but me. There were occasions where it reached such a breaking point that I decided that if I called an ambulance, I would simply tell them that I was having a complete and total mental breakdown, that I was surrounded by persecuting voices and that I desperately needed some type of help…something….anything. I looked up the phone number to a few mental health doctors in my area and wrote their numbers down on a piece of paper. I kept it on hand at all times in case I made the decision to “make the call.”
I was also very worried about losing my job, since I was more or less living paycheck to paycheck. I simply couldn’t afford extensive medical expenses but I also felt that I simply couldn’t function anymore. At this point the voices were so bad that it was extrmemely difficuly to hold my focus on anything for very long. I was calling out of work allot at this time and when I did go, I was fumbing even the most basic task. Part of me figured that it was probably just as well if I was put away in some hospitle somewhere because I simply couldn’t function in society any longer. But whenever I came to the brink and had my phone in my hand and was about to “make the call”, I always pulled myself back.
The one time that I did go to a doctors was a day when I was out with my sisters. I had been in the process of looking for a small (less expensive) place to live before all of this happened to me. One day, one of my sisters had made an appointment with a friend of hers who was a real estate agent to go look at a couple of condos that were up for sale. I was feeling terrible that morning and tried to play it off to my sister that I was just sick and didn’t feel up to going out and looking at these condos. But my sister was quite insistant. She stated that the appointment was already made with her friend (the real estate agent) and that for one of the condos that we were going to look at, there was still a family living there and that they already made arrangements to go out for the time we were scheduled to do the walk through. So really, even though going out anywhere was the last thing that I wanted to do, I really didn’t have much of a choice. Both of my sisters picked me up from my house that spring morning and right away they could tell that something was very wrong with me. I drove with them to the condominium complex and the voices were present the whole time. I remember as I was driving with them with the windows down in the car, I was hearing the voices through the noise of the passing cars, that with each passing car that passed me, I would hear a different word or brief phrase, it was truly unsettling and bizarre.
During the car ride, I tried to act normal but it was hopeless. My sisters could tell right away that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t even focus well enough to hold a normal conversation. Things were no better when we reached the condominium complex where we were scheduled to do two walk throughs. I was very shaky and very much on edge. I was surrounded by the voices the whole time. I remember catching my sisters glancing at one another from time to time as if acknowledging to each other that they knew that something was very wrong with me. It was difficult, but I mustered up enough concentration to explain to my sisters friend (the real estate agent) that I wasn’t feeling well and to please forgive me if I seemed “out of it.” As we left the appointment and got back into the car for the ride home, my sisters interrogated me about what was going on with me. I said nothing about the voices, I just couldn’t. I just said that I wasn’t feeling well, that I felt dizzy and was having trouble sleeping and that I practically had no appetite.
I remember that on the drive back, the windows were down, and once again the voices were particularly bad coming in through the sound of the wind and passing cars. It was as if several voices were shouting at me from right outside of the car windows. My sisters suggested that I stop by a local doctors office for a quick check up and I was simply too disoriented from being bombarded by these voices to put up much of an argument, so I agreed.
When I got to the doctors office, the incoming text sound on my phone went off something like 5 or 6 times in a row and one of the text messages appeared saying that it was from my one of my sisters, but both were sitting right beside me at the time and were not using their phones. It’s possible it was a delayed text, but the timing was so bizarre if that was the case, the text message said “WE ARE HERE”. Since I had already experienced these entities leaving me voicemails as well as experiencing direct real time phone calls from them, I think it’s at least possible that the “WE ARE HERE” text message was from these malevolent spirits.
When I did see the doctor, I didn’t mention anything about hearing voices as a resullt of dabbling with EVP and spirit communication only a few weeks prior. I simply told him I was feeling very out of it, was experiencing a lack of appetite and was having trouble sleeping. He noticed that I was experiencing dehydration and had me hooked up to an IV.
Once I was under going the IV, the doctor and nurse left the room. To my dismay, there was a small fan running in the room at the time. What I heard coming in over the noise of the fan was disturbing to say the least. On this occasion, I was hearing these malevolent voices torment me the clearest that I’ve ever heard them, it was like they were right there speaking to me (which they were), but they were invisible. That half hour or such that I was receiving the IV was truly a traumatizing experience. I was glad to finally leave and get back home. The doctor gave me a prescription for Ambien, which did help a bit while it lasted, but getting a full night’s rest was still terribly difficult at this stage in my ordeal as these malevolent spirits would continue to harass me with their voices throughout the night as well as create disturbing physical sensation on my body that seemed all too intended to not allow me to get a moment’s peace. Only sheer exhaustion finally brought on the peace of oblivious sleep…and sleep was the only peace that I had in those terrible days.