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Jumbled, stream of consciousness here. Nothing that makes any sense. I need to take a deep breath before starting this work day. I’m feeling emotionally good, though there are a lot of things on my mind:

Prep for the upcoming weekend

D’s birthday

Kids physicals

BIL

UTI

S’s 504

D’s viola lessons

D’s tennis/crew

S’s wrestling

S’s reading

Trip to the ADK

I’ve been listening to a few youtubes on the subject of B.E.D. It’s rooted in restriction. Restriction gives power to food.  

My anxiety is rising. There is so much to be done here at work. And I don’t want to do any of it. That’s not new. I need to take some deep breaths. I have such a good life. I have wonderful children and a wonderful husband. What is missing? Only my deep and unwavering acceptance of the abundance that I have been blessed with. Perhaps I’m not taking enough time to meditate on my gratitude for all that I have. Let me take some time for that. Things keep popping up in my email or in my ears – I am at work after all.  It would be awkward for me to step outside right now. I just got here. This day feels like a journey of a 1000 miles – I just need to take that 1st step. My eyes are so heavy. Coffee maybe. I just checked yahoo. Nothing. Why do I keep going there? Am I not loving myself enough? I know I love myself more than I used to. I don’t love what I do when I come to this office. Yahoo is an escape. Like going on FB is also an escape. I don’t think I’d want to know how much time I squander on social media. This is healthier than social media.  I spent a lot of time this morning on FB.  Why? Ugh. Why?

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