Name something you gave away that you wish you hadn’t.
I want to first start by saying I missed yesterday’s journal entry…My uncle had unexpectedly passed away this past Saturday. The services were yesterday and although I had a few minutes to write, I chose not to. I will pick back up with today’s question..
I know this question probably refers to something materialistic that I wish I hadn’t given away but I don’t think material things really matter lately. If this question had been presented to me a few weeks ago I might have said something stupid like a shirt, or a pair of shoes I never got back. After the last week, realizing that life is so short there is one thing I wish I hadn’t given away..
I recently opened my already broken heart to a man, actually a boy who I thought was a man. I gave away a piece of me to someone who was not deserving of it. I wish I could sit here and say I had no idea he would break my heart, but I always had an uneasy gut feeling and I ignored it hoping he would turn out different.
He said all the right things, every word I needed to hear to piece parts of my heart back together and then his mask came off. He promised me the world and I naively believed him. I wanted so much to believe that all men aren’t the same. I wanted to believe that even though I made a horrible choice in my ex husband that there was someone out there willing to love my damaged heart.
In the end, he was nothing like he said he was…he lived with another woman. He claims it was because I was “wishy washy” about he and I. I might have been because I sensed deep down something didn’t feel right, but regardless I gave away a piece of my heart, I gave trust that I really didn’t have much of to give to a man who didn’t deserve it.
My only fear in this is that I will eventually become one of those women who swears all men are the same. I don’t want my heart to be bitter or poisoned because of a few bad experiences. Luckily I have some amazing friends who have promised me they will never let me get like that.
*If someone can fall asleep knowing you’re crying, knowing you’re hurting or didn’t get home safe, they don’t care about you*