The Middle Child

Istanbul, Turkey

(The night before my father leaves for Libya)
She gets exactly what she wants and more with being greedy which is apparently deemed acceptable by others.I don’t like asking for anything, I’d rather go to school without lunch money than ask for anything, but no; she has no problem for asking for exactly what she wants and thats not exactly bad or wrong ,it just gets to me.

i accepted what i got and was happy with it till she gets something more and this time i couldn’t hold my tears and i was turned into the bad guy for it
she saw me unhappy with the situation who in complete “her” fashion, she gets up and starts acting dramatically and says all the wrong things that make her look like the innocent victimised damsel in distress, it only took her to seconds for me to look like the bully and selfish person who doesn’t thank god for what she has,she started crying and of course one cry from her makes everything took her two seconds for me to get tried and be given the verdict. without the jury hearing a word i said or even seeing my face or even BOTHERING TO ASK ME WHAT WAS WRONG.I HAVE NO FEELINGS. I ACCEPT EVERYTHING AND NEVER SPEAK AND I SHOULD CONTINUE LIKE THAT AND ACCEPT THAT ALSO. i don’t care about the petty things she does. what kills me is when i remember those three months when my father wouldn’t speak to me because she made a mistake. what kills me is being cursed at for being the wrong daughter that answered the phone.we’re balled up as one person when she’s wrong, i pay for what she does but oh when she’s right she right all the way , all she has to do is open her mouth and talk because apparently she’s an angel and theres only one side to EVERY.SINGLE.STORY. she can be selfish and make them sick with her stories and selfishness and i try to not to tell them the things that will only make them sick so i keep it to my self and not speak a word of it because I AM CONSIDERATE UNLIKE HER SELFISH SELF THAT CAN only scream and shout and make big deals out of what happens to her because she only thinks of HERSELF and WHAT SUITS HER.SHES REWARDED FOR BEING THE ELDEST PERFECT DAUGHTER with all the problems she has caused

after she goes and basically calls her father cheap she comes to me and calls me being a bully and that i bully her all the time, and she goes and and a split second RUINS EVERYTHING with her immatureness and her inability to keep ANYTHING to herself she comes back to me pointing fingers and calling me ungrateful and bully. yes honey i am jealous of the fact that you are always chosen over me even when YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.

i deal with things on my own but she’s always the first one to go running to them scrunching up her face and sprouting tears and hiccups basically acing her act of innocence.
they’ll realize when i go how she was the one all along.
she has to make everything about her .EVERYTHING.

she’s the smart one
she’s the responsible one 
she’s THE ONE
if she’s wrong I’m WRONG along side her
if she’s right well then she’s absolutely 100% right
but oh I’m never right
im balled up with her whenever she does anything wrong as if I’m the devil on her right shoulder.
thanks bye

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