There isn’t enough hours in the day! My head is a mess, my life is a mess, I’m not suicidal but I totally understand why people jump!!
I can’t do this shit much more, my small selected circle of friends no longer get on, none of them within themselves are consistent. Because I’m an overthinker I think what else in my life is inconsistent. Makes me think the worse of everyone!!! After leaving my abusive relationship I had trust for no one, Nearly 1 year later it’s still the same!! I did trust one very good friend, I let him get too close tbh! Then he abused my trust and hurt me physically!! Then there is my female beastie, she took the total Piss outta me and more I train my soul how to take a step back and look at the bigger picture I can see I’ve been taken for. Total and utter mug!!
Then there is Mr Oak, the bastard is still trying his luck not even for sex but to keep our deep meaningful conversations going. I mean is he trying to totally fuck with my head or what?? I want to find love, I want someone to kiss away my scars and make me feel wanted but it doesn’t feel Luke it’s going to happen !! In this moment in time I fucking hate this I really wish my dad was here , bastard !!
I feel emotionally and physically fucked, I want to sleep and wake up when it’s better!! But you can’t fix shit when your sleeping!!! NB for self: wake up, shake up and look forward or your gonna keep sinking!! Fuck the negative people and the cunts always putting you down they themselves are low life scummy in secure shit!!!
I love swearing! I don’t swear in front of my kids so I tend to swear a lot while I write!!!