Lost the love of my life.

I have been lost since I lost my soulmate on April 23,2016. Life is nothing to me without her. I failed her miserably and did not protect her like a man should and I overdosed on pills to take my own life. We got into a fight and she left and I have not seen her since. It’s been the hardest time I have ever had and trying to cope with her being gone has taken away my willingness to survive. I have attempted suicide twice since she’s been gone and all I feel is nothing but regret and sadness every day. I wonder if she misses me. I am confused and can’t believe she is gone. We used to share dreams together and we are both empathic we could take away our physical pain just by touch. I never thought we would be apart and I only have the memories of what we had. I’m so lost sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything. I feel like a failure and don’t like to be around anyone I just feel alone and I know I’ll never forgive myself for losing the most beautiful girl I have ever known. My days are filled with remorse and I miss her so much. If I could only turn back time and start again I would do things right but I know I can’t. I love you Christina. I pray every night for you and hope your safe. Love, Jason. 

2 thoughts on “Lost the love of my life.”

  1. Dear Jason, your journal entry is very sad. It’s clear you love Christina with all your heart. Don’t give up! Please don’t attempt suicide any more. She may come back at some point. Don’t give up hope. I will pray for you. And you….try to really live and enjoy life again; live each day — for Christina if you have to. Stay alive so you can pray for her and bless her in this way. Someday things will be better. Hugs.

  2. I am bi polar with generalized anxiety disorder and manic depressive. I am on medication that helps me with the suicidal ideations but I am still having issues with not having her by my side. Maybe one day she’ll forgive me but I doubt it. Anyways I just miss her. It feels like there’s a part of me that’s missing.

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